A Crisis and An Unexpected Delivery

The list for Ms. Therapist gets longer.

Another session cancelled. She had a client crisis happen today and had to be involved in that. At least I received a phone call before I made the somewhat long trek to her office.

So, I headed back to my private sanctuary after leaving her a message. In the least, we need to get an email and a phone session in. I have some questions I need and want her perspective on.

On the way back I stopped to check my mail.

“We have a big box for you.” The clerk said.

Oh my, I thought. I wonder what my brother has ordered, thinking he’d been held captive by his Amazon app.

But when the large box came out, it was addressed to me, and the sender was one of my fellow cult survivors. Wow! I couldn’t wait to get home to see what she had sent me.

What spilled out of this box was more than I could have imagined. There was so much love, tears rolled down my face. In a time where I have had to make some difficult decisions for myself that no one, even this sender, knew about, a time I was feeling both gain and loss, change and rebalancing, here came all of this unexpected Love.

I stared at these paintings, seeing myself through the eyes of this artist, who had painted Vennie and Knowing and Angie, all without even having full awareness of our parts. Sheila just painted from her spirit, and I sit, still, in a space of absorbing what the Universe unfolded. The Counsel, in the form of Art.

Angie/Sila, loved horses as a child, rode them during dissociation states and this beautiful creature stands so valiantly next to their reverence.

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Me holding Sheila’s portrait of Vennie – free spirited and wanting to grow, learn, create and feel the Planet Earth, through her being.

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And finally, Knowing, the crone, ancient Mother, Arcturian angel, she keeps her connection with Her home.

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A poem of honor that I choked out aloud to get the totality of these words.

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Sheila Burton, you and I walked through torture together as children. Yet, here we stand. You have reminded me today that I am loved, from places and hearts reaching into the corners of this land, and I am so grateful and humbled. You have a gift of seeing depth, and today, I learned a great lesson from you. That I am loved. Thank you.

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6 comments

  1. Oh my goodness, I love your artwork. I love the pink horse/Pegasus and the look of love on it’s face and how relaxed you look as it nuzzles into you. I so long to feel that way…to let go and not worry…to let my guard down.
    And your tattoos. What are they of if you don’t mind my asking. I am covered in them as well. I can’t explain why I have them except to say that it’s a way to claim myself. To mark my body with things that are meaningful to me.
    I’m enjoying your blog ā¤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. the art in that particular post was actually done for me by an artist and fellow Move of God cult survivor, Sheila Burton. The rest of the art in this category (aside from that post) is some of my art: https://venniekocsis.wordpress.com/category/art

      My tattoos – well, each one has a very special meaning. My foot, has a celtic cross, a reminder of the beauty of the cross before religion took it, and that it be where my feet are rooted in love. On my left calf, a piece from a friend who was learning, and I just really wanted some of her ink on me – it is a vine w/ a dragonfly. My lower back, an abstract butterfly. My back is covered with a full mermaid and the celtic symbol for beautful soul you can see it here:

      My right arm has a guitar and music notes falling down it. my neck says “and this too shall pass” in Gaelic. My Pisces symbol on the back of my neck, and a cross with a heart behind my ear you can see here:

      Tattoos are particular for me. Each one has specific meaning. I have “The Venomous One” on my left arm, a name that was given to me when I performed poetry live, that it was venom. That was my first tattoo. Each one has deep meaning to me, and was thought out for a while.

      I agree so much when you say “to mark my body with things that are meaningful”. and also, for me, protecting. The process of being tattooed in and of itself is a transcendent experience for me and the piece that I choose always has a specific reason and meaning for me.

      What are some of yours?

      Like

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