poetry lover

Shards

Shards

And in the end
All she wanted
Was her own piece
Of heaven
Where her chest didn’t feel heavy
Where smiles felt real
And she could be free
Away from the ache left
From picking up shards
Of her beautiful heart

Vennie Kocsis is the best-selling author of CULT CHILD, and hostess of Survivor Voices radio show every Sunday at Freedom Slips.

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VennieKocsis.com

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Born Crazy: A Video Poem

You’re crazy.”

How often have you heard this phrase thrown around, either flippantly, in jest or to victim blame someone who has overcome or is recovering from abuse?

I heard this often as a post-cult teenager and well into my adult years. While I was actually dealing with the behavioral aftermath of being an extremely abused child, instead of receiving support, caring and nurturing I was told that I was crazy. When a child is told enough times that they’re mind is insane, we begin to believe it.

This poetry piece is from my spoken word album, Dusted Shelves, which is available on Amazon in paperback and c.d. Written in 2013, it is a representation of a life by which I was conditioned to believe that I was crazy.

Some abuse survivor work is considered to be dark and oddly psychotic. This piece would fall under that theme.

**Trigger Warning for those who are sensitive to these themes**

Born Crazy

Save It

Save the idle banter
And the petty, senseless chatter
For the next innocent victims
Of your self created disaster.

Save the sad, sad stories
And the sudden change of tune
For the tide that brings the drowning
When it all decapitates you.

Save it for the others
Who love to gasp and smother
In the drama and the strife
Of petty, purposeless lives.

Save it for the nights
When you regret not taking flight
When the chains were off
And you were running
Into freedom and your light.

Save it for the journey
That belongs to only you
For what you say about me
Is most revealing of you.

Save it for the lying game
You use to hide the shame
The lack of accountability,
The excuses and the blame.

Save it for the strength you’ll need
To recover from the change,
The chains, the regrets,
The moments missed;
They never go away.

Save it all to leave in the dirt
When the pain overrides the hurt
And all the disappointment
Is continually affirmed.

Save it like its a precious,
Priceless, rarest gem.
Save it for the arrival
When you have to begin again.

©venniekocsis.com