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Liberation Point: Survivor Voices

I recently listened to the story of a woman who escaped a life in a fundamentalist religious cult.  I am always drawn to those who were children in cults, as I find the most comradeship with their stories, often similar to mine.

She is standing at the podium, poised, articulate and dressed in a dark suit.  She tells her story slowly, unfolding the pain of the cult survival which drives her passion to grow an organization supporting people just like her.   She speaks of her struggles to adapt, the experiences which she will never forget and the scars it has left upon her family.

“My worst day as a free soul is far better than my best day in captivity.”

Samie Brosseau

Samie Brosseau

I have tears as she shares.  I am her.  She is me.  We are the faces of random strangers we pass in the street.  We know nothing of their lives, but they could be us.  We grew up sequestered from life.  Our normalcy was reversed as we learned to become accustomed to being hurt.  We were refused a connection with our own authentic being and free will.

Yet, we have survived, and now I sit here so proud of who we have grown to be.  I listen as she bravely talks about the work she and her partner have done in just a short fifteen months. They have helped eight cult survivors transition into a life they would otherwise be floundering inside of.  Eli Weiss and Samie Brosseau work on event fundraisers to garner funding to provide real-time support for cult survivors.   I hear the echo of their voices’ repeated passion of being “ON THE GROUND“; understanding crisis, and what is truly needed.

“On the weekend, a couple of us will hop in the car and just drive, you know? They get to experience what it feels like to do what they want to do. They get to connect, and we laugh. We just talk about regular life. That’s how they want to be treated. Accepted.  Just like they’re people, because they are.”

Eli Weiss [on supporting cult survivors]

Eli Weiss and Samie Brosseau

I am watching from the wings as child cult survivors, now adults, are swiftly rising.  They are creating storms with their voices and healing as they exhale.  They are standing up for themselves.  They are refusing to bend.

We must pay attention to what is happening right now within our communities.  Every day, children wait for us to notice; for us to speak up.  Every day another child wonders if there is someone out there waiting should they become brave enough to run.

Oh, yes, we are here waiting for you with open arms. It is the time of the Experiencer, and we will all rise together through support, open communication and sharing.

Click the logo below to visit Liberation Point and find out more about their organization.

https://www.liberationpoint.org/home.html

 

Vennie Kocsis is the best-selling author of CULT CHILD, and hostess of Survivor Voices radio show every Sunday at Freedom Slips.

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VennieKocsis.com

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Upselling, Poverty, Alters and Shame

I went to a store to pick up a specific lotion which doesn’t bother my somewhat sensitive skin. I am not a store browser. I am not a crowd person. I have a list, an agenda, I want to walk in, buy it and head back home. I begin to feel irritation when this happens:

Ma’am, you know today we have 40% off these lotion primers.”

Primers? Who the hell has time to put lotion on to prepare for putting more lotion on? I keep Maude’s voice quiet in my head so it doesn’t reach my lips. She immediately reacts at ridiculous ideals, often turning us into an articulate smartass.

Oh, well, thank you,” I reply kindly to the attendant. “but I’ll pass today.”

The store attendant continues to go through the long drawn out process that seems to be involved in selling one small bottle of lotion.

You haven’t had to deal with this long wait with any of the other chicks before.” Maude taunts in my head.

Maybe she’s new.” I telepathically reply back firmly. “Don’t start this shit now.”

More customers have formed a line behind me; four or five humanoids deep. I breathe. I count three round things around me. I numerically reduce a price tag. I grasp at grounding to get through a purchase that is quickly becoming lengthy.

Oh!” The attendant exclaims, as if something extraordinary just happened. “I forgot to tell you!”

What, like, everything is free today?” I sarcastically think to myself.

These lotions are 3 for 40 dollars!” She points to a shelf of numerous, strategically lined-up lotions. “They are extracted from the finest trees in some tropical island somewhere, mixed with leaves of plants from some other tropical island and make the skin expand until the body looks like that of a first year college student who ate carrots all of her life and ran five miles a day…” I am making up my own story, tuning out as she drones on.

Maude starts laughing.

Don’t!” I think, because when she laughs  it begins a chain reaction, and I’m striving to stay composed.

Knowing steps forward, speaking quietly and comfortingly. She is in therapist mode.

Dear, I understand that upselling is a part of your job, and I respect that. What I’d like for you to consider is that when people like me don’t have the money to buy extra things, and we have to continue to say no, it puts us in shame. So in front of all these people in line behind me waiting while you try to sell me things I’ve repeatedly said no to, plainly, I’ll just go ahead and tell you that I am broke and cannot afford more lotions. Does that help you?

The attendee’s face turns a bright shade of embarrassed red.

Sorry.” She mumbles.

It’s okay.” Knowing replies softly. “Just think about it next time, please. Take the first ‘no’ you receive as an indication someone might not have extra money, and don’t give into guilt marketing to get people to impulse buy even though that’s what your boss wants you to do.

I know we have slightly embarrassed her as she silently finishes my transaction. A couple of people smile at me when I walk away, passing them, as if I said what they often want to say.

I feel a sense of guilt. I’ve been in the upselling position years ago when I worked a second job at a retail store. It feels exactly like begging. It is uncomfortable. It is often being tracked by cameras and/or other employees. It’s required by corporate rules of retail. It’s success is rewarded with employee commissions applauding successful guilting of someone into buying, which they usually do just so the sales person will shut the hell up.

In today’s society, asking for help in, general, makes people look at the one in need as if they are an unstable beggar, but those same people often don’t see when businesses train their employees in strategically begging customers to buy products because it’s just “upselling“.

So to all the poor who have to swallow your pride and ask for help to just repeatedly hear “no“, or be judged and kicked down when you need support, remember, you’re not a beggar, you’re just upselling the needs in your life. If businesses can do it, so can we.

Remember to upsell your needs as if it is the most exciting thing that could ever happen.

GUESS WHAT??? Coolest thing ever! My electricity is going to be off in a week! You get the BEST deal on helping someone. YEAH!

GUUUURRRLLLL have I got a SMASHING offer for you! My broke down truck! A mere – 1100 dollars! Wha wha??? Could be MUCH more at the dealership! Told you this was a good deal! Booyah!”

To the meth addict on the corner, you’re not a drug addict. You’re merely upselling a medication need. To the veteran holding a cardboard sign asking for money or food, you are not a beggar. You are simply upselling the failure of America to give a shit about your life.

In fact, to all of us who need support and help, we will NEVER beg another day in our life. Instead, let us take what we have learned from corporate America, that we have the right to cease being looked at as beggars and instead, accept that we are merely  up selling our needs.

That’s how problems don’t get solved and mind manipulation happens; when humans have been made to believe that the poor are just lazy but the swindling up selling from corporate America is an apparent genius commission competition between a salesperson and a potential victim buyer.

An Open Letter From Cathy O’Brien 

TRUTH EVOLUTION

“My name is Cathy O’Brien. Mark Phillips and I are 25 year veteran US Government Whistleblowers on the subject of mind control and healing from it.

Mind control is a sliding scale from the kind of robotic MK Ultra mind control I endured during the Reagan-Bush Administration to mass mind control social engineering through deliberate suppression of truth and manipulation of information. We all formulate our thoughts, opinions and ultimately action based on what we think we know, and we Need to Know that our knowledge base has been altered to fit the agenda of a global elite hellbent on world domination.

Think for a moment. Open your minds and expand your thought to consider the reality that mind control is the ultimate WMD of the global elite. Mind control is a TOP SECRET weapon system being used on and by the US military. The human brain responds to mind control and/or trauma the same way regardless of the level of intensity with resultant PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).

Mark and I are in the process of releasing our self help manual of the steps Mark taught me for healing from decades of torturous robotic mind control and subsequent PTSD. It is today’s Truth Evolution that has empowered us to release these easy-to-apply methods that are otherwise suppressed from mental health and society as a whole. It is the antidote to violence, trauma, repressed thought and, above all, for our PTSD military veterans in need of reclaiming control over their minds and lives.

If I can reclaim free thought, free will, peace of mind and soul expression after decades of torture, trauma, abuse, and highest level military programming, so can you. These keys to healing that intelligence insider Mark Phillips taught me are now available to you in our concise self-help manual ‘PTSD: Time to Heal’. These are the same methods we continue to teach leading mental health professionals worldwide, and that global outcry has demanded. It is about Time! The Truth Evolution has begun.

My experience in MK Ultra provided me deep insight into CIA Pentagon/White House level criminal covert funding mechanisms for what Adolph Hitler and George Bush termed the New World Order. This included taking over cocaine and heroin operations worldwide as we opened our borders under the illusion of NAFTA. Mind control slavery, and the deliberate takeover of the minds of the masses through video games, movies, television, music, Common Core “education”, and above all national trauma like 9-11 and imposed violence/mass shootings, were implemented for ushering in this agenda of an elite self-appointed few. Arm yourself with the facts and look into the reason why Bush-Clinton dynasties were being forced upon u.s. all through our controlled media, contrived polls and rigged elections.

Awareness is the first step toward positive necessary change, whether it is personally freeing our minds from subconscious manipulation or restoring freedoms to u.s. all.

‘PTSD: Time to Heal’ are the methods I used to reclaim self control written in a way that empowers you to rise above socially engineered fears and violence. Our PTSD military vets have waited decades for the diagnosis of PTSD to even emerge as a recognized mental health disorder, yet they do not have to wait any longer for the antidote. Not only does PTSD: Time to Heal free minds through self application, it allows for self control free of labels, drugs, and backlash from those striving to suppress truth as they struggle to maintain their last remnants of control over u.s. all. Know your own truth in order to recognize truth in our world today.

‘PTSD: Time to Heal’ can restore peace of mind and ultimately peace in society. It teaches how to consider other perceptions and think further than what we are told. It empowers the ability to stop the past from intruding on the present through intrusive memory flashes, undermining of goals, and/or night terrors. It arms you with the ability to consciously rise out of deeply entrenched/programmed thought patterns, to expand perceptions, and “Voice No Negatives Without a SOULution”. It stops the war within once and for all through restoration of inner peace and self control.

The Truth Evolution is on! Stop the violence and arm yourself with Truth that makes u.s. free!

http://www.TRANCE-Formation.com

‘TRANCE Formation of America’ is compiled testimony for US Congressional Permanent Select Committees on Intelligence Oversight released in book-form when the 1947 National Security Act was invoked on our case. The legal principals of TRANCE are now being taught globally in major universities and in is law libraries world wide.

‘ACCESS DENIED For Reasons of National Security’ tells our journey to survive to become US Government Whistleblowers, is a testament to the strength of the human spirit and power of love, and was written for the people in manner that empowers through truth that makes us free.

‘PTSD: Time to Heal’ is yours for reclaiming control over your own minds, lives, and freedom. It inspires inner peace, which is the first step toward world peace.”

CLICK HERE TO PICK UP YOUR COPY OF “PTSD: TIME TO HEAL” – currently $12.00 + shipping

Hourglass

There’s a faded line
Between reality and time I
Catch myself remembering rejection
Straddling a log fence watching
Them play and laugh and shout
Odd girl out
Too loud

I used to be an expert at stilts
Stride the mud like a queen
I could do anything
If I just believed but
I never prayed hard enough to
Make God real and
It would be a version of
Drop Dead Fred who
Emerged the memories in my head

Do you know the flashes
That leave gashes behind your eyelids
Ask a soldier if he can forget
The blood of war then
Ask me if I can erase
The horror of flailing bodies
And belt straps stripping skin

No
We don’t forget

We learn to live occasionally laughing and
We hide the burning in our throat
The angst that never goes away
We become quiet
Learn to fake it
To not ruin moments
Become awkward
We pass the bread and wine
Close our eyes to the sighs
As we lose track of time

We hope we don’t carry on
The aftermath of our dysfunction
Watch our children struggle
As we cry in silence

To do it over, take the pain
Would I endure it again
The lashes and shunning
The fear and repentance for
Deeds confused and undone
Would I die again just to be here
Take the scourging of my flesh
To understand the depth
That loneliness can sink a soul
I don’t know

I am back walking paths
Running to escape shadows
Hiding behind trees and
The demons who will enter me
So they preach and I
Reach my arms to the moon

Take me home
I want to leave this place where
The babies cry and fathers weep as
Mothers scrape together meals
Where humans have forgotten to feel

Take me back
I want out of this mission
I am missing starlight and quiet
The soft green beneath my
Weeping willow tree
You promised me

I am watching sand fall slowly
Motion reversed I am poised
Rehearsed for the scene
But if I told you that
My ears can’t take the screams
And my heart can’t take the weight
Would you hold me

Would you softly kiss the spot
Above my heart and
Understand the sadness without
Judgement or coldness
Would you encase my face and
Tell me I’m safe

Because you see I am just
A little girl lost and
Sometimes I am tired, weak
Battle torn and worn
Longing for touch

So I sit beneath the pines
Write poetry lines and
Breathe in the rain because
Water washes pain and
I am an hourglass waiting it out
Until the last drop
Turns me on my end and
I restart this life again.

©VennieKocsis

What Is Holding Space? 

Crisis. It happens all around us every day in some form, from the child who cries a lot, to the friend who is dying of a terminal illness, to war and news and everywhere we turn we’re surrounded with crisis and news of crisis. We are often left feeling helpless, because as humans, our heart says “We have to fix this.”

I regularly practice caution in this arena. As a natural Empath, I can easily bring to my bosom, every pain in this heaving planet, leaving me somewhere lost in a great pond of sadness.

Once, when I was going through a deep struggle, a friend said, “I’m holding space for you.”

It is quite one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.

So what does it mean to hold space for someone in your life? What does it feel like when you know someone is holding space for you?

When we see others struggling and hurting we want to fix it. We want to help them feel happy. We want to make it better because we love them. This is how beautiful we are underneath our masks which often give off the tone of apathy, a cover for the shame we feel that we cannot fix it.

The first rule of holding space is to NOT do it of you aren’t dedicated. The last thing anyone in crisis needs is am empty promise.

Here are some examples of how to hold space for someone.

1. Answer their calls and texts. Do so willingly and with love. Respond with “I’m so sorry. What can I do to help?” Let them know you are listening. Open the door for them to share with you.

2. Check in on them. Don’t wait for them to reach out. When we are struggling, many of us isolate and cannot find the strength to reach out. So check on us. Let us know when you think of us. You may be the very light we need in that moment.

3. Sometimes we just want an ear. So cease attempting to fix it all. You may say, “Hey, if you need support coming up with solutions, I’ll gladly brainstorm with you otherwise, I’m here holding space for you.”. It’s often best to just hold the space in support, because that one simple act creates these feelings in times of crisis.

We feel Safe
We don’t feel so alone
We become Hopeful
We are Thankful
We feel Supported
We become Motivated

Holding space for our loved ones means sacrifice. I believe that we have to be clear on knowing our own self-love boundaries so that we, as the person holding space, are not depleting our own strength. Holding space requires balance.

Most of all, holding space requires empathy, an ability to step outside of our own self and find the joy in being there for someone else.

Hold space, my friends. It is a beautiful gift to give.

Faceless

I am a faceless wanderer passing by unknown. There are dimensions and planets inside of me that have yet to be born. I’m a color wheel glanced at from distances. There is energy in my existence that is a sinkhole of depression, apathy and ego bending.

I want out of this body and out of this place. I want to run away. I am stuck in thick mud. The spears would fly if I suddenly said farewell, goodbye; to, for once, live my own life. No desire to be caretaker, mother or wife.

I am dried out; wrung like a sponge; assessing escape routes; how to get out without the spears bleeding my skin from the inside until all that remains is a shell.

Hands held out for help, expected, enabled, the support table cracking at the legs, and in their hast to take, there will be silence when the legs finally break. Shattered wood goes back to earth quickly. It becomes dust and ash, disappearing until one day they will sit around musing, “She used to be the tallest tree.”

And my remnants will be what is burned in the fire pit. My mistakes will be their memories. My heart break will be the ghosts, an aching they will never know. So much whining about the trials of their life. You give me your childhood, and I’ll give mine. We’ll take measure of who really survived.

Years I spent, digging and clawing out words, hoping, just hoping to be heard. Even in that, there is no reprieve. Only the stark reality that is me; the knowing I must be alone in order to survive. I cannot be the foundation for anyone else’s life.

So I plan. I scheme. I prepare. To find a cave to call my own; a tender slice of home where there is no noise, the walls are mindful, the silence respects me, and I cease being a projection screen for the multitude of trivial screams.

My Love Languages 

This psychological test has been around for a while. I’ve taken it before. I’ve read the results. I’ve realized how immensely they’ve changed when I took this test again today. One aspect of this test that I like is that a parent can take it for their child, if the child is under eighteen. If only I had this when my children were younger.

But we didn’t have… Internet. O_o

So here’s my current love language with a link at the end for you to find out yours as well.

My Scores

11 Acts of Service
6 Quality Time
6 Words of Affirmation
4 Receiving Gifts
3 Physical Touch

Interpreting the Profile Score

The highest score indicates my primary love language (the highest score is 12). It’s not uncommon to have two high scores, although one language does have a slight edge for most people. That just means two languages are important to me.

The lower scores indicate those languages I seldom use to communicate love and which probably don’t affect me very much on an emotional level. Learn more about my primary love language and how to put it to use next to the corresponding explanation below.

Important to Remember

I may have scored certain ones of the love languages more highly than others, but I do not dismiss other’s languages as insignificant. My friends and loved ones may express love in those ways, and it will be beneficial for me to understand this about them.

In the same way, it will benefit my friends and loved ones to know my love language and express affection for me in ways that I interpret as love. Every time I or they speak one another’s language, we score emotional points with one another. Of course, this isn’t a game with a scorecard! The payoff of speaking each other’s love language is more of a feeling of “this person understands me and cares for me.”

This translates into better communication, increased understanding, and, ultimately, improved relationship.

Encourage your friends and loved ones to take The Love Languages Profile. Discuss your respective love languages, and use this insight to improve your relationships.

Acts of Service

Can helping me with my responsibilities really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on me will speak volumes. The words I most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.”

Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for me tells me that my feelings don’t matter to you. When others serve me out of love (and not obligation), I feel truly valued and loved.

Quality Time

In Quality Time, nothing says “I love you” like full, undivided attention. Being there for me is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes me feel truly special and loved.

Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Whether itʼs spending uninterrupted time talking or doing activities together, I deepen my connection with others through sharing time.

Words of Affirmation

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important, and hearing the reasons behind that love sends my spirits skyward. Insults leave me shattered and are not easily forgotten. I thrive on hearing kind and encouraging words that build me up.

Receiving Gifts

Don’t mistake this love language for materialism. I thrive most on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind a gift, primarily, that I was comsidered worthy, without the gift giver having an agenda. The perfect gift is also a gesture showing that I am known, I am cared for, and I am prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to me. A missed birthday or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are heartfelt symbols to me of someone else’s love and affection for me.

Physical Touch

Hugs, pats on the back, and thoughtful touches on the arm – they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect and abuse are unforgivable and destructive. Appropriate and timely touches communicate warmth, safety, and love to me.

What Are You Love Languages?